staircasetotheclouds | moooore wonderland au

moooore wonderland au

[Oswin's not really sure how long she's been here. Days at least, because she quite clearly remembers stretching out on a ground softer than any bed she'd ever encountered to sleep under the stars when she absolutely had to, with the Doctor by her side. But then again, she's not really sure she cares how long it's been. This place is absolutely perfect, beautiful and lush and ever-changing. What could be out there that's better than in here?

She and the Doctor spend their days exploring Wonderland, this world that the TARDIS has created all for him. Maybe she thinks they can't stay forever, but Oswin's not too sure. She'd like to, definitely, to spend the rest of her life exploring this land with the Doctor, without having to worry about anything besides where they're going next.

But, they can't. And it's the TARDIS that knows this best. The universe needs the Doctor, and the Doctor needs his companion. And both of them need to leave at some point.

But, the Doctor needs his memories back first, which is why she leads him and Oswin to a darker part of Wonderland, the Tulgey Wood. As they stand before it, Oswin squeezes the Doctor's hand tightly, her gaze involuntarily raising to the sky, which has begun to cloud.]

...Onward, then? [Not that they have much of a choice, if those clouds are anything to go by.]

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[They've got the night. More than enough time alone for Oswin to do some proper comforting without the soldiers or Clever overseeing. It's a relief to be out from underneath someone's watch, to be able to relax and let the reality of the situation sink in.

Once they're alone, Oswin pulls the Doctor into her arms, holding onto him tightly. He'll remember soon, that's what those faces were there for. If this is the last bit of time she's got, she's going to use it properly.]

[He's more than happy to sink into her embrace, holding to her tightly. He closes his eyes and relaxes for now. Amy's face swims before him again and he shudders.]

...I'm afraid. [He speaks in a whisper, muffled by her shoulder.] I don't want to hurt again.

[Oswin's fingers clench in the back of his ragged jacket and it's possible he might be able to feel her trembling faintly.

She sniffles, fighting to keep her own emotions under control.] ...I know. [Pause.] But you've got to. She'll keep making it worse if you don't, she'll...

[The TARDIS can be quite forceful when she wants to, and Oswin knows this. She takes a deep breath.] ...I'll be here. [Even if she's not going to be enough, especially after he knows.]

I-I... [She's right and he knows it, and he knows he has to get through this, he has to remember them, but oh, it hurts.]

I...yes. Stay with me.

[Because he can't do this alone.]

[She nods and he'll definitely feel her shaking now.]

...Wouldn't dream of leaving.

[He nods as well, letting out a breath.] She...it's alright...we'll be alright.

[She closes her eyes, taking a steadying breath as well. Oswin can't break down yet, she has to be brave. For him.]

...'Course we will.

[He opens his eyes. He needs her to help him through this, and he's concerned she's not quite ready.] Are you with me?

[Raising her head to look up at him, Oswin steels herself, exhaling quietly.

She nods, taking his hand and entwining their fingers.] Always have been.

[A small smile twitches at his lips.] Good.

[He closes his eyes again and lets the memories flood back, one at a time, remembering his Ponds. He takes in a sharp breath, fingers curling in her sleeve.]

[Oswin tightens her grip on him, burying her face in his shoulder.

After a bit of maneuvering, they're sitting on the floor against the wall of their cell, her curled up in his arms. It's started now, and there's nothing they can do to stop it, nothing they want to do to stop it.

Oswin winds her fingers into the fabrics of his shirt, clinging to it tightly. She's not the one he's remembering, but she'll do for now, until he remembers too much.]

It happened so fast. [His voice comes abruptly, shaky and thick with emotion.] They were there one minute and the next, I lost them.

[She peeks out before settling for resting her head on his shoulder.

Her voice is soft when she speaks again.] ...Tell me about them. [They'd only met briefly, after all, her and the Ponds. And maybe letting the Doctor tap into better memories will help. Memories that don't involve loss and death just yet.]

[Give him a moment to remember. Right now, it's difficult to think past the aching loss. When he speaks, it's slow, a few words at a time.]

Amy...was...my fairy tale Amelia. First face this face saw, and...I needed her. She was...my anchor.

[Oswin is unnaturally quiet as she listens, watching his face for anything. Any sign, good or bad.

She won't say anything, not yet. But she's listening, he can be sure of that.]

[He takes a deep breath before speaking again. It comes back a little at a time, memories one after another, and...it's sort of nice, to remember those good times.]

Rory...well...I wasn't so keen on him, not at first. But he turned out to be brilliant, really...really brilliant. No one was better at protecting Amy. Not even me.

[She smiles at that, despite her fear and anxiety. It's Rory she remembers better out of the Ponds, the one she'd guided to safety and flirted with and teased.]

...How long were they with you?

A long time. It's...hard to recall exactly. Years for them, but decades for me.

[She takes a deep breath.]

And...what happened?

[He swallows.]

They died.

[Well, she figured that much.]

How? [Oswin hates to do it, to make him relive these memories, but he has to. For both of their sakes.]

[He takes a deep breath and looks down, clutching at Oswin tighter.]

Weeping Angels. They...touch you, send you back in time to before you were born and devour the energy that your life should have been. [He has to pause, his voice choked slightly as he goes on.] Rory...it got Rory, and Amy couldn't bear to live without him.

[That hurts to hear more than she expected, and Oswin seeks out the Doctor's hand with her own, squeezing it tightly.]

...They were together, then. At least. [Even back when they'd been fighting, she'd figured it wouldn't last. Sort of nice to know she was right.]

I... [He's crying again, but he doesn't seem to have noticed.] I tr-tried to...get her to stay, but she just...she couldn't. And I felt...I felt like the most selfish person in the world, trying to keep her to myself.

[She can do it properly this time, reaching up to wipe his tears away with her fingers.

There's a long pause before she speaks again and when she does, her voice is even softer.] She was your anchor. [Oswin doesn't blame him for wanting to hold onto Amy, for wanting to keep whatever was keeping him from going mad.]

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